About a year after I had Spike, a group of coworkers decided to organize a weight loss challenge. The Ten By Ten Intense Weight Loss Challenge, I believe it was called. At that time in my life, I was in a body composition situation much like the one I find myself in now: About 85% of the way back to my pre-baby self, frustrated, lacking motivation and madly in love with sweets and sauces. The exact parameters of the competition are tied up in my memory – somewhere between the lyrics to Guess I’ll Go Eat Worms and the Flavor of the Day at Culver’s – but basically, we held these degrading weigh ins every Thursday morning and the first to hit a certain percentage of weight loss, won the majority of a somewhat sizable money pot.
These weigh ins went on for months. Interest dwindled. Contenders dropped out. I started taking off my belt and peeing right before in an effort to lock it up. Eventually, it came down to me and a bunch of dudes. And then, it happened … I beat the boys. I was the slim hot dog in a giant sausage fest and, I’m tellin ya, it felt so. damn. good. It was a tasty victory sandwich smothered in cash condiments with a sloppy, indulgent side of a semi-slender figure. I’m ashamed to admit how satisfying it really was.
Jumping to extra pounds of the present, this gal needs some fire in her flat tire. It’s time to drop these last l-bs and bring those cobwebbed goal clothes down to be worn in their glory. Remember when I used to do those “What the scale said …” updates (those two times) at the start of the month? Know why I stopped? Because there was no change. It’s depressing! But the pity and I part ways here.
Another piece of my puzzle, I am mildly obsessed with Extreme Weight Loss, and so, naturally, I stalk Chris and Heidi Powell on every social media platform they selfie on. I’ve seen them post these DietBets before, and was always intrigued. This is how it works, to the best of my knowledge:
You sign up with Paypal or a credit card (a $30 buy in). To be accepted into the bet, you must take two photographs: A full body shot and a scale shot, each containing a piece of paper with your secret DietBet word written on it. Once you’re in, you swap sweets for sweat and move around a bunch to try and shed 4% of your body weight. You do that by the time the bet is up and you win your $30 back plus your share of the total pot, which you share with the other victors. Easy, right?
The one I entered is here and is open until August 18, though, the sooner you sign up, the longer you have to lose. It’s worth a shot and kind of exciting. I just really don’t have enough deadlines in my life, so I figured I’d pay for one more. Please, join me, won’t you?