I hope those who celebrate had a restful, enjoyable Christmas. Ours was, dare I say it, absolutely lovely. We managed to turn up a fair serving of merriment, and I’m pretty darn grateful, considering the circumstances I know many were dealt this season.
Now that the wrapping is done and all of our new treasures are finding their places, we’re closing in on the new year. Personally, I love turning the page and starting a fresh calendar, perhaps this year more than any before.
When I think about 2020, I just want to take a nap. I mean, sure we had a global pandemic, brutally divisive election and social unrest, but it was also the longest string of disappointments I’ve ever experienced. There was nothing to look forward to! Races, vacations and gatherings all canceled. One after another. I stopped letting myself get excited and instead just leaned into my 265-day leggings-clad hamster wheel existence. It was the fastest, suckiest year I can ever recall, and while I don’t know that the first quarter of 2021 is going to be much different, I need to be different.
Every year, regardless of global circumstances, I take it upon myself to slide into a sugar-induced coma from Thanksgiving day through January 2. I can’t help it. I am who I am. Any other time of the year I can track calories and eat oatmeal like a mature adult, but once I get a little tryptophan in my system and people start trotting out pies and painted plates piled high with confections, I tap out temporary. I know that it’s horrible for my insides. I know it’s going to be a solid 10-pound swing. But all the same, every year for about a month I have sugar cookies for breakfast and don’t measure the creamer in my coffee and it’s glorious. I’d tell you I won’t do it next year, but I don’t want to lie to you.
The ghosts of goals past
Also very consistent for me, about this time each year, with all that fructose sliding through my veins, I start obsessing about my goals for the year ahead. Two years ago, I started distancing myself from super specific resolutions and, at the urging of a friend of mind, decided to focus on one word. For 2019 I chose “alive.” I wanted to be more present and live in the moment and take more chances that reminded me of the gift this life really is.
I think my word for 2020 was “strength,” but to be honest, aside from a few tough workouts scattered throughout, it really transitioned into “survive” somewhere around mid-April. I put a lot of things on the shelf and just focused on getting through the days, the weeks, the year with my sanity and some shreds of physical and emotional well-being on the other side. I had to stop obsessing about the fact that I wasn’t taking the opportunity to remodel my kitchen or workout twice a day like others were posting. But I was breathing and everyone was fed. I’m going to file 2020 under “complete” and prepare to move the F on. Won’t you join me?
Picking a new word
I’ve thought a lot about what I want my word to be for 2021. I tend to gravitate toward fitness goals. I always want to get stronger, faster, more agile. But rarely do I focus on the mindset it takes to get there. I regretfully put all my eggs in the planning basket. I tell myself that if I can create a schedule, I’ll do it. But you still have to have the grit it takes to stick to the schedule.
Then, a few months back, I came across this quote on Instagram:
“No one is coming to save you. This life is 100% your responsibility.”
It was like 8,000 alarms went off inside of me. It might seem harsh, but it’s also so liberating. For me, it’s really easy to find someone or something to blame. But the truth is that I am the architect, the commissioner, the conductor of my life. If something isn’t changing or it isn’t happening, that is totally on me. If I want something badly enough, I can find a way. And if I don’t, I won’t. But either way, I need to own that.
No one is coming to fix the things that are broken or wobbly. And they shouldn’t. If my body doesn’t look the way I want it to, no one is going to come and get me out of bed at 5 a.m. or force me to fit it in instead of watching Gilmore Girls for the 500th time. If I haven’t written as much as I’d like to, run as far as I’d aspired to, menu planned and prepped, gone on a great adventure, I am the one to blame. No one else. Nothing else. Circumstances are what you’re dealt, but you choose how to play the hand.
So, with all that being said, my word for 2021 is “ownership.” It’s not a sexy word. It might seem vague even. But it’s all about stepping up and taking responsibility rather than curling up on the couch with excuses about how we’re all set up to fail, while Netflix asks me if I’m still watching.
If I choose to eat a basket of fries and pint of oat ice cream in one sitting, that’s cool. But when it shows up on the scale, I can’t be mad about it. I have to own it. No one is coming to save me from the ice cream. And, let’s be honest, I don’t always want them to. Sometimes, I want the damn ice cream! The same can be said for the nap, the cocktail, the neglected dusting. But 2021 is about being deliberate and in control and realizing that it’s all a choice.
No one is coming to save me from hitting snooze, participating in negative chatter, stewing, sitting, yelling, excessive snacking, complaining, stalling, settling, phoning it in, mindless scrolling or wasting precious moments and opportunities. No one is coming. I have to pick up the compass and rescue myself.
And if I step out of my comfort zone and accomplish some badass things, I’m going to own that stuff, too. I’m not going to shrug it off, or assume it’s a fluke. I can succeed. I can take risks. I can be consistent. I’m capable. It’s just a thousand tiny choices that your make that add up. And I’m going to own each and every one in 2021.
If I sit down to write to you this time next year and absolutely nothing has happened or changed or progressed in any direction, I will have to own that. My hands are firmly on the steering wheel, foot hovering over the accelerator. It’s time to go.
What’s your word?
I’d love to hear your goals or word for the next year if it helps you or feels good to share. Accountability is always beneficial for me, but I know that’s not true for everyone.
If you’re struggling to narrow your list or hone in on a word, revisit some of the books, lyrics or quotes that spoke to you this past year. Why did it resonate? Like I said, when I came across the words, “No one is coming to save you,” it rattled me and shook some fruit from the tree. I knew I hadn’t been driving the bus for some time.
Whatever you plan to work on or not work on in 2021, I hope that it is a beautiful time in your life. After watching the despair so many have experienced through physical, financial and emotional loss, I can only pray that we find a way to start picking up the pieces and reclaim the practices and people who bring us joy.
Wishing you all the best in the new year!