I think I mentioned toward the beginning of the year that I’m working on a book. Now, I use this term loosely, as, on the good days, I’m cranking out about three paragraphs that are as solid as a three-day-old’s poop. Several weeks back, I was invited to join a private Facebook group for book writers. I hesitated initially (see: previous sentence), but alas my curiosity got the best of me, and I joined.
After silently stalking the group for some time, I tossed a question about connecting with a publisher vs. self publishing out to the others. A kind gentleman by the name of, let’s go with Jerry, took pity on my novice inquisition and started sending me information.
Jerry is working on his fourth book, and has gone through the paces enough that he has a fair amount of wisdom to impart on a beginner like me. Through messenger, he’s wired tidbits about cover design and editors and retaining your rights. Important things that feel a million miles away when I stare at my underdeveloped chapters. And yet I’m flattered that he feels I deserve his time and tutelage.
This morning, steaming cup of coffee in hand, I jostled my computer awake and found a message from Jerry. It read:
“Hi, Courtney. I know you don’t know me that well, but as human beings, we need to share compassion and encouragement daily to people.
Each year instead of giving up something for Lent, I like to give back. I wanted to leave you my Lenten Lift Up message this year.
You are special. I rejoice in your victories and feel compassion through all your tribulations. The strength you have can move mountains, the likes of which many cannot duplicate. You are embarking on an incredible journey with your first book. You will most likely experience the ebbs and flows, wondering if all you are doing is worth it. Trust me, it is. Your dreams are important, so don’t ever give up.
I hope you continue to be joyful and appreciative of all your blessings. You truly inspire me.
So here’s my message this year.
Treat yourself like someone you loved.
You need to know that you are the one you’ve been looking for.
It’s time to look through all your fear and look in the mirror and see clearly the person looking back at you is the only one who can make you happy.
You are already enough.
You deserve it because you are worth it.
And when you start to see that, you will start to be that.
Your world will get brighter and your load will get lighter.
There’s no point in letting yourself keep forgetting, because no matter what you say or do you are perfect.
So today I hope to leave you with a direction correction away from the flaws you see in your reflection.
They aren’t flaws to me; they are simply protection against all the doubts of your perfection.
So start today take a good long look in the mirror and say I am who I’ve been looking for.
I believe in you, Courtney.
Smile infectiously
Laugh genuinely
Love unconditionally
Live courageously”
It’s so beautiful. Soul shaking even. And … just, nice! Still, my initial reaction, much like the one some of you might be having, was skepticism. We’ve been conditioned through the social media revolver of horror stories and cautionary tales to doubt any display of kindness that could pan out to be a sicko in sheep’s clothing. For me, the paranoia that first caught fire with “To Catch a Predator” has only been magnified by #metoo and the onslaught of reports about people scraping profiles and violating every shred of security young women (and humans) once enjoyed.
But then I read it again. And again. And I decided to turn myself over to the possibility of pure, unadulterated kindness. Sure, maybe that seems naive. But I think I’d rather believe I’m breathing the air of a planet where some degree of that spirit still exists. Where uplifting sentiments are still exchanged, for no other reason than to benefit the human spirit.
And to be honest, I needed to hear something like this. I’ve been working through a stubborn foot injury and nursing a mild case of apathy and inadequacy about my performance pretty much across the board lately. And while my burdens feel small, they still leave marks on my shoulders almost every day. So part of me doesn’t really care about the motivation behind this benevolent word bomb. I’m choosing to pull the pin and let the goodwill raise me right on up. I actually think it’s pretty cool that he decided to send it.
Maybe you need to hear something like this right now. Read the words again, as if I just sent them to you in a private envelope, marked for your eyes only. Let this stranger’s thoughts be the superhero potion in your medicine cabinet. Why not? He said it all so well. Like he’s a writer or something.