Baby Weight Archives - Desperately Seeking SuperwomanDesperately Seeking Superwoman

Collecting dough from DietBet

September 7, 2015

Update: Tune in today to see if she can … take her DietBet to the bank.

The emotional roller coaster that was the game of DietBet ended on Tuesday with a touch-and-go finale. On Monday, I was .8 of a pound over, and by the next morning, I was 1 pound below my goal. I’m sure I dropped the weight by stressing it straight off my body, but that’s neither here nor there.

I received the text with my “code word” on my drive to work, so a sweet coworker brought in her scale so I could hammer down my final number. It felt a little like the start of a super-secret Weight Watchers meeting in a back alley. (I look so short and shiny in this picture. Like a toddler who rubbed coconut oil all over her face. What the …)

The process is much like a first date. You submit your results pics and then they have to be “accepted” by the DietBet referees or officials or whatever title you give to a bunch of interns who sit around in a room all day evaluating photos of either delighted or defeated human beings standing on scales. Body Shot Surveyors? Anyway, you have to patiently delay gorging on your frozen Snickers in anticipation of their reply. Do they need to see you again? Are they good with what you put out there? It’s an agonizing holding period.

Finally, the response:

The next stage was one of extremely exaggerated and unrealistic speculation. How much was I going to take from the pot? A “splurge” would indicate something of great value … like treating myself to a new dress, or fancy dinner with friends, or a car. I mean, what if I won like $20,000, you guys?! This is both a testament to my ability to sensationalize mediocre events and also my grossly disappointing mathematical intelligence.

On Friday, this one came:

Which, as my husband so Hankly put it, makes sense when you figure about 50% of the contestants made their Bet. Math is stupid.

Final thoughts … I’d do it again. Sure I would. It was fun and my pants were slightly baggier by the end and these days, I count that as something to celebrate. I did it by maintaining my workout regimen and tracking calories. I then toasted both my victory and my buns with a sloppy butterburger that blew the whole point of the competition right out of the water. Maintain, Courtney … Main-freaking-tain.

Thoughts from the peanut gallery:

“Originally, I thought it was hugely motivating, because hello, money. but then I thought that the small amount of weight would come off easily after having a baby and I kind of forgot about it. Plus you don’t know how much money you’re going to get, what if you just get your $30 back and that’s it? Fast forward to the end of the challenge, I still have a pound to go and I’m spending the entire morning peeing and pumping milk so I can hit my weight. I would do it again, but only when I’m really ready to overhaul the diet and exercise regimen.” – Nissa

“Fuck. That. Shit. I say this because I just wasn’t ready. Looking for one to start on Tuesday. I like beer.” – Kathy
(Editor’s note: In addition to beer, Kathy, like Shazzer from Bridget Jones’ Diary, likes to say fuck a lot.)

Until next time …

Tune in Today

DietBet: The end is near

August 27, 2015

Tune in today to see if she can … drop enough weight to win that DietBet.

As you might recall, a few weeks back, drunk on optimism and grasping at baby weight straws, I signed up for a Chris Powell DietBet. Thirty dollars in, drop 4 percent of my body weight … bing! bang! boom! I get my $30 back and split the rest of the pot with all the other lucky suckers.

Except, losing 6 pounds is kind of hard. I have been on an emotional roller coaster with dips and peaks and plummets. I’m up, I’m down, I’m bloated, I’m starving. I’ve been within 2 pounds of declaring victory, and within 6 pounds of blowing the whole thing.

I have to track calories and I have to work my ass off; that’s the long and the short of it. But if I’m being real with myself, I’m feeling seriously cheated. Do you know I ran 9 miles the other day? I, who have only run 4 miles max in my prior life, ran that 4 miles, then did it again, then tacked on 1 more mile just to show off. (It was actually part of the training plan and I thought I was going to suffocate mid stride.) Now, in my mind, that equals at least a 10-pound weight loss … no? What’s a girl gotta do to drop some LBs, man?

The clock is dwindling down and I have less than a week. So, if you have any drop-a-handful-of-pounds-without-hurting-your-body pointers, I’m all ears. Please and thank you.

Help me, before next time …

Wellness

You bet your bottom … dollars

August 6, 2015

About a year after I had Spike, a group of coworkers decided to organize a weight loss challenge. The Ten By Ten Intense Weight Loss Challenge, I believe it was called. At that time in my life, I was in a body composition situation much like the one I find myself in now: About 85% of the way back to my pre-baby self, frustrated, lacking motivation and madly in love with sweets and sauces. The exact parameters of the competition are tied up in my memory – somewhere between the lyrics to Guess I’ll Go Eat Worms and the Flavor of the Day at Culver’s – but basically, we held these degrading weigh ins every Thursday morning and the first to hit a certain percentage of weight loss, won the majority of a somewhat sizable money pot.

These weigh ins went on for months. Interest dwindled. Contenders dropped out. I started taking off my belt and peeing right before in an effort to lock it up. Eventually, it came down to me and a bunch of dudes. And then, it happened … I beat the boys. I was the slim hot dog in a giant sausage fest and, I’m tellin ya, it felt so. damn. good. It was a tasty victory sandwich smothered in cash condiments with a sloppy, indulgent side of a semi-slender figure. I’m ashamed to admit how satisfying it really was.

Jumping to extra pounds of the present, this gal needs some fire in her flat tire. It’s time to drop these last l-bs and bring those cobwebbed goal clothes down to be worn in their glory. Remember when I used to do those “What the scale said …” updates (those two times) at the start of the month? Know why I stopped? Because there was no change. It’s depressing! But the pity and I part ways here.

Another piece of my puzzle, I am mildly obsessed with Extreme Weight Loss, and so, naturally, I stalk Chris and Heidi Powell on every social media platform they selfie on. I’ve seen them post these DietBets before, and was always intrigued. This is how it works, to the best of my knowledge:

You sign up with Paypal or a credit card (a $30 buy in). To be accepted into the bet, you must take two photographs: A full body shot and a scale shot, each containing a piece of paper with your secret DietBet word written on it. Once you’re in, you swap sweets for sweat and move around a bunch to try and shed 4% of your body weight. You do that by the time the bet is up and you win your $30 back plus your share of the total pot, which you share with the other victors. Easy, right?

The one I entered is here and is open until August 18, though, the sooner you sign up, the longer you have to lose. It’s worth a shot and kind of exciting. I just really don’t have enough deadlines in my life, so I figured I’d pay for one more. Please, join me, won’t you?