It’s been a minute since I cleared the Notes app on my phone and shared the memorable nuggets from the mouths of my babes. Here are some recents from the sissies.
“We’re working on compound words and contraptions.” – Sloppy Joan
“If I was death-spert I would just hide longer. But only if I was super, really death-spert.” – Sloppy Joan
“That is in-say-ying!” – Sloppy Joan
“That was the doctor’s appointment when they asked me about pubeder.” – Spike
“Any changes to your medical history?” – Doctor
“My mom’s peeling from Turks and Caicos.” – Sloppy Joan
“Their parents are probably so proud of them!” – Sloppy Joan after the AJR concert
“Ants weigh less than an inch.” – Sloppy Joan
“I think he got tiggers.” – Sloppy Joan, meaning chiggers
“My butt has been on so many toilets.” – Sloppy Joan
“Find a clean one. That’s my motto in public bathrooms.” – Sloppy Joan
Husband comes home to Sloppy Joan playing her electric bass hooked up to the amp in the garage.
“Whatcha doin’?” – husband
“Makin’ some money!” – Sloppy Joan
“I can’t tell if he’s an old man or a dad.” – Sloppy Joan
“I might have gotten a 2-second butt rash, I think!” – Sloppy Joan
“I hope I get a good husband with good babies.” – Sloppy Joan
“We’ll meet you at Crackle Barrel” – Sloppy Joan
“What if he just ignored you because he thought you were a boomer?” – Sloppy Joan
“Yeah, the tortoises at the zoo are always doing it.” – Me
“Wait … I thought they were giving each other a ride.” – Spike
“I’m not very religious but his freckles and cross necklace just do something for me.” – Spike, crushin’
“These boots are too small.” – Spike
“It’s OK. You’ll get through it. Like the time I wore a bra to school.” – Sloppy Joan
“I haven’t had a Pepsi in a hot second. Like literally just a few seconds.” – Sloppy Joan
“Your breath stinks.” – Spike to JoJo before basketball practice
“It’s OK. It’s basketball, it’ll smell like sweat soon.” – Sloppy Joan
“She was born on Valentine’s Day.” – Me, sharing that friends welcomed a grandbaby on Feb. 14.
“Ohhhhhh … She’s gonna love sooo many people!” – Sloppy Joan
“Op, tomorrow’s spring 1st.” – Sloppy Joan
“I thought that bunny was laying babies.” – Spike
“The Office is like an adult show and a kid show combined, because it’s really funny, but also, they’re working.” – Sloppy Joan
“I’m so glad we aren’t super rich or anything cuz then I’d have to dress all fancy and look all nice. Plus, I couldn’t fart.” – Sloppy Joan
“I’m not getting a second load.” – Sloppy Joan
“You mean a refill?” – JoJo
“Aw, shoot! It’s the real Slim Shady.” – Me
“Mom, it’s Eminem.” – JoJo (annoyed)
“He’s the best drumist.” – Sloppy Joan
“I opened my belly button, the water ran into it, I folded the skin and when I lifted it, the water was gone!” – Sloppy Joan
“Where did it go?” – Me
“Into my belly. I drank through my belly button.” – Sloppy Joan
“Wow.” – Me
“Does your belly button ever get hungry?” – Sloppy Joan
“I left you a scent packet.” – Sloppy Joan, after tooting in my car
“We played zombie.apicklelips.” – Sloppy Joan
“If I wanna keep one good one I gotta stop farting.” – Sloppy Joan, referring to dating/marriage
“Maya Angelou was born in Ar-Kansas.” – Sloppy Joan
“Where?” – Me
“Ar-Kansas.” – Sloppy Joan
“Oh, Arkansas?” – Me
“I guess!” – Sloppy Joan
“We’re going to The Empathy.” – Sloppy Joan, the day of her field trip to the Embassy
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