“Only dads and people who play basketball can ride motorcycles.” – Spike
“We went through a plant that tickles and bickles you. And then we came back to nothing but monkeys.” – Spike
“I’m gonna have to make underwear out of toilet paper like they did in ’99.” – JoJo
“You can’t run cuz you’re wearing wedding shoes or .. I guess they call them boots.” – Spike
“I try to think about happy things like looking in mirrors when I’m all pretty with makeup. Or good things. But it always turns out into bad dreams, like Cookie Monster is eating me.” …[5 minutes and still going]…“OK, this is how it works, I’m awake and playing, then I throw my toy on the floor, then I fall asleep to a dream about Grover or Cookie Monster and then it’s scary and then I wake up and I still know I had that scary dream.” … [10 minutes and still going] … “So I hold my bottom and come into your room fast like this [demonstrates tiptoeing while holding bottom]. Then I’m fully charged. Then I set up my bed, lay down, go to sleep, close my eyes.” – Spike
“What the hell?!” –JoJo
“And then she said, ‘What the hell are you doing?’” – Spike
“Is that the board JoJo bizzeled all over?” – Spike
[doing my hair]
“OK … it’s all nice and hairy for you. Do you want it like just hairy or like blob hairy? It’s kind of already blob hairy.” – Spike
“Said the little lamb to the shepherd boy … Do you hear what I hear?”– JoJo
“It’s a Jesus, when he died on the car.” – Spike
“Dad, do you know Jesus Cross?” – Spike
“Mom, you know I call Aunt Diana, Indiana.” –Spike
“I like Christmas for the joyful love.” – Spike
“And our freedom!” – JoJo
“I just went poop and pee. But I don’t wanna talk about it.” – Spike
“She wouldn’t stop crying. So we decided to torture each other.” – JoJo
“I wear these underwears on Tuesday because they’re as warm as your covers.” – Spike
“When I blew my snuffy nose, I had splatters all over my face.” – Spike
“Sometimes when I sit down too long my underwear gets tricky on my butt. I don’t want to say butt.” –Spike
“What’s so sugary is the charms in the … in the luck.” – Spike
“I’m just doin’ my thing.” – Spike
Spike: You know what the man on the moon is?
Me: No.
Spike: Critters.
JoJo: You mean craters!
“I like it so much I’m never gonna untry it.” – Spike
“Thusie Adam” [= enthusiasm] – JoJo
“You know why it smells like a fart in here? It’s because I put vaseline on my lips.” – Spike
“We need a mini van. The doors open automagically.” – JoJo
[Gasp] I swallowed my gum. [Sobs] I don’t wanna fart bubbles!!” –– Spike
“You know who sings this? Barack Obama.” – Spike
“The pond is really sold in ice.” – Spike
“Have you felt sick all day? I felt sick for tons of years.” – Spike
“Dad!!! I need you to get in here and push on my belly so the poop will come out!” – Spike
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