We laughed to our guts! – Spike
I love to drink my tears. – Spike
JoJo, your face looks funn- [turns and runs into wall]. – Spike
It’s like raining snow! – Spike
Is “whore” another word for “seat”? – Spike
Are we cheering for the Steelers or the Takers? – Spike
I wish you were little, and you were my sister and you looked like you, but smaller. – Spike
Did you know grass is Mother Nature’s hair? – Spike
She laughed so hard she cracked herself out! – Spike
I think my eyes were playing tricks on your mouth. – Spike
See … isn’t having kids fun? – JoJo
Uncle Map is a kiddish grownup. – Spike
I’m having a lot of “excuse mes” today – Spike
Love isn’t just a word. It’s a feeling. – Spike
I wanna wear my bathing soup! – Sloppy Joan
Mom, can I tell you a secret? I’m the class helper a lot and I have to hand out markers. And when I hand out the markers, can I tell you the secret part? I give people markers that match their shirts. If they’re wearing blue, I give them blue. But if they’re wearing white, I have to give them a black marker or some other color. – Spike
Mom, you know, some grownups are smaller than teenage kids because they have shrunken. It’s not their fault. They just get smaller sometimes. – Spike
Is that for your things? – Spike,
Yes – Me
Oh. … Like, it holds them down?
Kind of. It holds them still.
Oh. … But I don’t need one yet, right? Because my things are so small.
Right. But you will when you’re bigger.
Right, like when my things are hangy.
Do all the hookers have head lamps? – Spike
Mom … Mom, I have to tell you something. No, in your ear. [I bend down] I forgot underwear – JoJo, wearing Umbros at her co-ed basketball game
If you were a seahorse, you’d come out of your dad’s tummy. It’s true. – Spike
Does my bathing suit look like a lea-tart? – Spike
A lot of animals are made out of meat. So I say care for the honeybees, care for the birds, care for the everything. Even animals that don’t make food, I’m still saying to care for even all the animals. Even the ones that attack Mother Nature. – Spike
Dad, what’s that sound? – Sloppy Joan
What sound, babe? – Hank
That car sound.
What car sound?
That boom shakka lakka.
Did you pick up upstairs? – Me
I think we can do more. – Spike
How’s it looking’ up there? – Grammy
Ahhh, i don’t know if you heard me say, there’s more we can do. – Spike