I peed my pants! No, wait, just some rain snuck in there. – Spike
It smells bad in Sloppy Joan’s room. She pooped so hard! – JoJo
Pretty much anyone who wears a wedding dress looks like Queen Jelly. – Spike
But if I tell on him for hitting, I’m gonna get a tattle tail. – Spike
I had to go to the nurse because my feet hurt and all I had for lunch was an apple. – JoJo
I drank it up in a jippy! – Spike
Ya know, they make Huggies so much easier now. At least that’s what the commercial said. – JoJo
Oh my gosh, Mama, today Johnny fell and I laughed to my death! – Spike
It’s actually good to toot or fart because it warns you that you need to go to the bathroom. – JoJo
What’s the story with this peanut butter jar in the sink? – Me
Oh, I know! Once there was a jar and it fell and cracked its nut. – JoJo
I can’t wait to get cold knees. – Spike
I want to be an art teacher when I grow up. – JoJo
Ask God if you can. – Spike
I might forget cuz it’s awhile until you have a job. – JoJo
Well, God will remember. You are a really good artist. – Spike
Dad, you know that’s called a wee wee … what you have. What kind of plant is this? So, anyway, yeah, you have a wee wee. – Spike
I know how to spot buzzards … pterodactyls … and robins. Oh, and eagles! – Spike
How’s your pull-up? – Me
Good. There’s just a gallon of pee in it. – Spike
If anyone breaks these I will cry to my death! They’re my pets. – Spike, holding a jar of seashells
This lake is full of allergy! – JoJo
That’s my role model! – Spike, seeing a picture of her from a marketing photo shoot
I love you. – Me
I love you. – Spike
I love you more. – Me
That’s great. – Spike
Michael had a hooley hoop today. And he watched on me while I hooley hooped, too! – Spike
Peter Pan is so handsome. I love everything he has going on. – JoJo
Those are chocolate cows! – Spike
I’m going to fall in love and marry Travis. He likes me, I like him. He’s really silly and would be a good dad cause he’s handsome and funny and would make the kids laugh. I know everything about him. He’s six and a half, he’s lost six teeth, and sometimes he gets hurt. – JoJo
My fingers taste funny. They’ve tasted funny since I showered at Kay’s. – JoJo
Mom, my dream taught me how to do a bun! And I was so excited that I peed.” – Spike
Sadie is my lover dog. She just loves me so much she wants to hold my hand. – Spike
Mom, nothing is impossible if you believe. [man belch] – Spike
If your heart beeps stop, you could be dead. Because, you know, the beeps make the blood go around. – Spike
Bonus!