Browsing Tag

Learning to Ride A Bike

Kids

Boom. Crash. Flash.

April 21, 2015

Every once in awhile one of your kids goes and just shocks the shit right out of you. This time, it was my JoJo. Last summer, we tested the waters and took our oldest bird’s training wheels off, only to discover that she liked to do a full-on MacGyver bail at the slightest balance check. But last weekend, for whatever reason (her daddy’s persistent support, I’m guessing) this happened:

I’m telling you, had I not seen it with my own baby grays, I wouldn’t have believed it. Proudest mama.

But what comes up, must come crashing down, and who doesn’t remember their first epic cement smooch? She was warming up. Her uncle was stopping by to see her sweet new moves, and from the top of the driveway I heard it … you know, that sound of bone on concrete on screams that don’t quite register on the scale of human hearing? This is a child who has a tumultuous past, involving sedation as a last resort, when it comes to stitches, so the fact that we were dealing with a nasty road rash and swollen eye actually sent relief coursing through me.

My girl’s got grit. She hopped back on the horse and rode that mare all the way down the sidewalk.

In all the excitement, I came across a journal entry from last summer. It went something like this …

August 26, 2014

The other night, JoJo spilled water on her pants during dinner.

“Take ’em off and go change, babe. And then we’ll go for a walk after
dinner,” I said. So, she went up and put on a cute little green dress.

We went out and she told me she wanted to ride her big girl bike. So I
put a leash on the dog and she sped off in front of me. A family passed
… a dad with his 2 little boys … JoJo waved at them and on she
went. Flying around the path with her hair flying in the wind. Until
she got stuck at the bridge. I caught up to her and pushed her little
bike over the hump.

I got in front of her and she yelled, “Watch
out, Mama! Here I come!” so I turned around. The wind caught her skirt
and I that’s when I saw it. Her little bare bum. Apparently in her rush to beat the sunset, she decided to skip the undies. As she
whizzed on in front of me and I was close enough to take it all in, I
got a full view of the flashes of naked crack.

I laughed so hard
that Hank and Spikey had to come get me. The man with his children on a
leisurely bike ride, the neighbor lady lounging in her deck chair. They
all saw my little JoJo’s little fanny. What a great way to end the summer … with a full moon.