Browsing Tag

Kids Say

JoJo Just Said, So Says Sloppy Joan, Spike Speak

Sisters say what? (Vol. 5)

March 7, 2017

We laughed to our guts! – Spike

I love to drink my tears. – Spike

JoJo, your face looks funn- [turns and runs into wall]. – Spike

It’s like raining snow! – Spike

Is “whore” another word for “seat”? – Spike

Are we cheering for the Steelers or the Takers? – Spike

I wish you were little, and you were my sister and you looked like you, but smaller. – Spike

Did you know grass is Mother Nature’s hair? – Spike

She laughed so hard she cracked herself out! – Spike

I think my eyes were playing tricks on your mouth. – Spike

See … isn’t having kids fun? – JoJo

Uncle Map is a kiddish grownup. – Spike

I’m having a lot of “excuse mes” today – Spike

Love isn’t just a word. It’s a feeling. – Spike

I wanna wear my bathing soup! – Sloppy Joan

Mom, can I tell you a secret? I’m the class helper a lot and I have to hand out markers. And when I hand out the markers, can I tell you the secret part? I give people markers that match their shirts. If they’re wearing blue, I give them blue. But if they’re wearing white, I have to give them a black marker or some other color. – Spike

Mom, you know, some grownups are smaller than teenage kids because they have shrunken. It’s not their fault. They just get smaller sometimes. – Spike

Is that for your things? – Spike,
Yes – Me
Oh. … Like, it holds them down?
Kind of. It holds them still.
Oh. … But I don’t need one yet, right? Because my things are so small.
Right. But you will when you’re bigger.
Right, like when my things are hangy.
Uh huh.

Do all the hookers have head lamps? – Spike

Mom … Mom, I have to tell you something. No, in your ear. [I bend down] I forgot underwear – JoJo, wearing Umbros at her co-ed basketball game

If you were a seahorse, you’d come out of your dad’s tummy. It’s true. – Spike

Does my bathing suit look like a lea-tart? – Spike

A lot of animals are made out of meat. So I say care for the honeybees, care for the birds, care for the everything. Even animals that don’t make food, I’m still saying to care for even all the animals. Even the ones that attack Mother Nature. – Spike

Dad, what’s that sound? – Sloppy Joan
What sound, babe? – Hank
That car sound.
What car sound?
That boom shakka lakka.

Did you pick up upstairs? – Me
I think we can do more. – Spike
How’s it looking’ up there? – Grammy
Ahhh, i don’t know if you heard me say, there’s more we can do. – Spike

Kids

Sisters say what? (Vol. 2)

February 3, 2016

“Only dads and people who play basketball can ride motorcycles.” – Spike

“We went through a plant that tickles and bickles you. And then we came back to nothing but monkeys.” – Spike

“I’m gonna have to make underwear out of toilet paper like they did in ’99.” – JoJo

“You can’t run cuz you’re wearing wedding shoes or .. I guess they call them boots.” – Spike

“I try to think about happy things like looking in mirrors when I’m all pretty with makeup. Or good things. But it always turns out into bad dreams, like Cookie Monster is eating me.” …[5 minutes and still going]…“OK, this is how it works, I’m awake and playing, then I throw my toy on the floor, then I fall asleep to a dream about Grover or Cookie Monster and then it’s scary and then I wake up and I still know I had that scary dream.” … [10 minutes and still going] … “So I hold my bottom and come into your room fast like this [demonstrates tiptoeing while holding bottom]. Then I’m fully charged. Then I set up my bed, lay down, go to sleep, close my eyes.” – Spike
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“What the hell?!” –JoJo

“And then she said, ‘What the hell are you doing?’” – Spike

“Is that the board JoJo bizzeled all over?” – Spike

[doing my hair]
“OK … it’s all nice and hairy for you. Do you want it like just hairy or like blob hairy? It’s kind of already blob hairy.” – Spike

“Said the little lamb to the shepherd boy … Do you hear what I hear?”– JoJo
“It’s a Jesus, when he died on the car.” – Spike

“Dad, do you know Jesus Cross?” – Spike

“Mom, you know I call Aunt Diana, Indiana.” –Spike

“I like Christmas for the joyful love.” – Spike
“And our freedom!” – JoJo

“I just went poop and pee. But I don’t wanna talk about it.” – Spike

“She wouldn’t stop crying. So we decided to torture each other.” – JoJo

“I wear these underwears on Tuesday because they’re as warm as your covers.” – Spike

“When I blew my snuffy nose, I had splatters all over my face.” – Spike

“Sometimes when I sit down too long my underwear gets tricky on my butt. I don’t want to say butt.” –Spike

“What’s so sugary is the charms in the … in the luck.” – Spike

“I’m just doin’ my thing.” – Spike

Spike: You know what the man on the moon is?
Me: No.
Spike: Critters.
JoJo: You mean craters!

“I like it so much I’m never gonna untry it.” – Spike

“Thusie Adam” [= enthusiasm] – JoJo

“You know why it smells like a fart in here? It’s because I put vaseline on my lips.” – Spike

“We need a mini van. The doors open automagically.” – JoJo

[Gasp] I swallowed my gum. [Sobs] I don’t wanna fart bubbles!!” –– Spike

“You know who sings this? Barack Obama.” – Spike

“The pond is really sold in ice.” – Spike

“Have you felt sick all day? I felt sick for tons of years.” – Spike

“Dad!!! I need you to get in here and push on my belly so the poop will come out!” – Spike