When a dear friend of mine came to meet Sloppy Joan for the first time, she first smothered her in snuggles and auntie adoration, but as soon as she set her down, she grabbed her phone and started searching. “So … you have to see this,” she said. “This” was an SNL skit about infant toupees, which begs the question, who wears their hair with more confidence?
Nelson’s squad …
Unprompted apologies are so few and far between. But when they come, it’s like a Saturday morning at confession. Who’s more sorry?
Spike (writing an apology letter to our favorite caregiver, “Kay-Kay”) …
Or Ruuuuuuuubbbben Studdard …
Who can thaw your frozen heart?
Spike + JoJo …
or these chicks? …
They felt the need for speed and Spike felt the need, the need to pee. And we didn’t make it in time so she had to change into a Pull-Up at a rest stop somewhere in the Midwest. But, going by strut alone …
Who has the right stuff?
Spike + Daddy …
or Maverick + Goose?
Speaking of just being Miley, who rules the wrecking ball?
Spike* …
Miley …
Who rocks the rose-colored glasses like a boss?
Spike …
Sir Elton …
Who caught the best wind?
Sloppy …
Maya Rudolph 100 percent killin it …
Which one won the tutu throwdown?
Spike …
Ace …
Who’s fancier?
Spike …
… or Miss Azalea …