These sister sayings have been piling up in the notes app on my phone and it was time for a massive dump. In recent months, Sloppy Joan has started calling babies “hunnies” (which is super cute when we see baby bunnies) and Spike has become obsessed with all things private parts and Mother Nature. From our house, to yours … Enjoy!
He’s Indian. No, like his DNA is Indian. – JoJo
I’m gonna volcano in your tub! – Sloppy Joan
You’re gonna what?
Volcano, mama! In there!
You mean cannonball?
I jugged that whole water so hard. – Spike
You know when I was little, I thought a plank was like a diving board, but now I know it’s like a pirate thing. – Spike
It said “B-I-T-C-H, please” in that wooden ship on the playground. So, “bitch, please”. – Spike
“Whoa, what does sexy mean , anyway?” – JoJo
“Is it a kind of dancing or exercise?”
“No! Don’t go to school and tell you friends we did sexy last night.”
“I’m going to miss being 5, but I think I can get through it.” – Spike
I like the pink shorties [underwear] but not the kitty shorties, because the kitty shorties are flaking and get into my butt. – Spike
What are those things called … chicas? – Spike
They’re called boobs. – her cousin
She probably didn’t recognize you because you have glasses now. – Hank
Yeah, maybe. But I have the same face and skin. – Spike
I know what that thing is – Spike
What thing? – Hank
That thing that you and Ryan have.
It’s called a penis.
Yes, boys have a penis and girls have a private.
Actually, do you know what a woman’s private is called?
It’s called a vagina.
I don’t like jeans. – Spike
No? Why? – Hank
You know how sometimes your butt has like a crack in it? Like there’s a bump and then a crack?
Well, the jeans get into that crack. That’s why I don’t like jeans.
Dad, I pooped in my underwear upstairs. Why don’t you check it out. – Sloppy Joan
G’night Sugar Lips! – Sloppy Joan
“What are those bras called?” – Spike
“What honey?” – Hank
“You know, the bras.”
“Um, there-a, well,”
“The hairs that hang in your face.”
“Oh, bangs! Bangs! You mean bangs.”
It’s a dob bobblin … I mean a sob dobblin … I mean a nob shobblin – Spike
It was a hob gobblin – Hank
You know how you get a tickle in your throat? Well, I do not like to be tickled in my mouth. – Spike
Jack, you’re going to love the lake. They make the best watermelon there. – Spike
I saw firebees! – Sloppy Joan, chasing lightning bugs
Do you pick one out or you just have one come out? – Spike asking about babies
Oh, her name is Mary Berry? I thought it was madame Blueberry – JoJo
I was drawing on the sidechalk – Sloppy Joan
Owls are nocturtle – Spike
What do you want to eat? – Me
I want something that’s like too bad for night and too good for the day. Like not too treaty but not too dinnery. – Spike
Hey! Sloppy Joan has something to say! All you hunnies get off my mom! – Sloppy Joan
Do we have bath-is tonight, or no or yes? – Sloppy Joan, every night at dinner
Oop! I’m sorry – Spike
For what? – Me
I’m sorry I … kicked you, you know … in the penis.
Honey, I don’t have a penis.
They’re building it with an instruction truck. – Spike
Mom, you know the best part about dying? You turn into angel after you dust. – Spike
Mama, is it fun to be enormous? – Sloppy Joan
I decided I like being more brown because Pocahontas was pretty brown. – Spike
When I like to learn about nature is when it’s beautiful. When it’s not pretty, I don’t really care to learn about it. – Spike
She leaned back and kissed the bologna star, I mean the Blarney stone. And then the leprechauns came and they started making messes. – Spike
Jimmy said I don’t matter and I said you don’t care about God’s creation. – Spike
I have a friend and their grandma is 100! Yeah, I think she knew Jesus. – Spike
I stronging! – Sloppy Joan, lifting weights
Damn it, I left my coat at the farm! – JoJo, makin’ mama proud